Years ago, I was in full blown fulltime work mode. I traveled, I was considered an Executive Director in the global software company I worked for, I was making good money, I was in charge in many areas of life. I wanted to be the hero in all areas of my life. Like really in charge…over our finances, over our household decisions, over our children’s educational decisions, over everything. I also married a man who did not like confrontation. So coupled with his adverse reaction to confrontation and my strong personality, I simply fed my own (wrong I might add) opinion that I essentially made the money and so I had the final say in how we spent it. Add to that, we were in a season of my husband being a stay-at-home dad…big mistake on my part since I had the idea. Then Jesus came on the scene and as I begin to know what it meant to be in real relationship – not religion – with Jesus, He began to speak to me about being respectful to my husband. We had joined a bible study called Love & Respect by Dr. Emmerson Eggerichs and in that study essentially, I was introduced to trust that God has made men to need respect above all else, then love and He has made women to need love, above all else, then respect. Can I just say, this concept blew my mind!
Throughout that study and for the next several years, I heard God speaking to me to show my husband respect. My husband actually needed this from me and I, out of love, could give it to him. Now when I say several years, I do mean several years. In fact, He asked me six times to show respect to my husband, and I said “No”. Then He asked me a seventh time, and I said “Yes”, then “No”. Then on the 8th time He asked, and I said yes. You see my marriage, and my perspective were not going well, and I was crying out to God to help me and He answered by inviting me into a closer relationship with Him, through respecting my husband and trusting my Heavenly Father.
After that last Yes, everything began to change. My perspective toward my husband started to change – I softened to him and wanted to draw near to him. My perspective towards others changed as I began to see the value in them. My perspective towards God changed, as I began to walk as His daughter in relationship and intimacy with him as my Father. Another big change that happened was that my 8-year prayer of being able to leave work and homeschool our younger two kids, was finally coming to pass. We had already been homeschooling for several years and my desire was to stay at home fulltime and hand off the weight of being the fulltime breadwinner plus part time homeschooler for our household. I was stretched too thin.
As I began to take the reins fulltime in homeschooling our kids, I began to formulate a plan for the future of their education, what our goals where in homeschooling and how to prepare them to be well educated, well grounded in their identity, well-read individuals that loved Jesus. In that I also became even more of their biggest cheerleader, cause don’t we know for those of us who homeschool, that we are teaching our kids, academics, life skills, character development…lots of character development. In that the Lord was also working those same things out in me. I was being given the same opportunity to humble myself towards others to life them high, as I bow low (Proverbs 15:33 & Philippians 2:3).
As I shifted my mindset to see that I am great at being a guide and allowing others to be the hero I actually found out something interesting about myself. I loved that role. I enjoy showing others the way to their greatness. I excel at having strategic conversations and helping others see paths they could not see before. I am skilled in seeing a new perspective that seems clear to me but others need help in seeing for themselves. I so enjoy partnering with the Holy Spirit and sharing with people how God really sees them as sons and daughters of the Most High King, valued, loved, cherished, and important. God has such great things for each of us to walk in – He declares in His Word, that He planned in advance of our destiny good works for us to walk in.
So that’s me now. An Encouraging Guide, a Homeschooling Mom, a Christian Working Mom, a Strategic Coach, a Leading Learner, a Helper of all.
How do you see yourself, as a Hero or a Guide?